Kathy Bedard
Her path to worthiness: treatment, meditation, and courage
When Kathy Bedard began exhibiting signs of mental illness, she was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and chronic pain with symptoms similar to fibromyalgia. Kathy was prescribed Oxycontin for her physical pain, but found it soothed her emotional pain as well. She became addicted and lost control until one day she looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize herself. With her doctor’s help, she stopped taking Oxycontin completely. Today, Kathy devotes her time to volunteering in her Portland, Ontario community and was recently accepted for one of 17 coveted places in Algonquin College’s social work program, an accomplishment she never dreamed possible.
Kathy Bedard grew up in rural Ontario in a happy home. She married at a young age but the relationship was often rocky. Kathy and her husband had three sons—two were born with learning disabilities—and as time passed her marriage became increasingly problematic.
After her third child was born, Kathy was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and panic attacks. She was placed on various anti depressants, but her mental state continued to decline until Kathy had a breakdown and moved out of the family home. By 2003, she had legally separated from her husband and had obtained joint custody of her children.
Kathy began suffering from chronic pain with symptoms similar to fibromyalgia. She was prescribed Oxycontin for her physical pain but started turning to the drug to numb her emotional pain as well. Her addiction, combined with her mental illness, led Kathy to become homeless for several months.
She eventually moved into a new home, but continued to live in poverty for five years. There were times when she had no money for food, bills or gas for her car. Living in a part of rural Ontario where there is no bus transportation, she often had to walk to the local village for groceries and frequently visited the food bank.
Kathy lived in constant pain and so began increasing her dose of Oxycontin. She would get on a “high” and be up all night decorating her house. The next day she would be exhausted but still had to prepare meals and care for her children. Once her sons left for school, she would usually go back to bed.
In 2004, Kathy connected with a social worker at her local health care centre who encouraged her to attend mindfulness meditation and depression groups, but Kathy did not go regularly. At this point, her addiction was severe and for six months she was in a constant struggle.
One day, Kathy looked at herself in the mirror and didn’t like what she saw. She visited her doctor, who ended her prescription to Oxycontin. Her withdrawal was arduous, but she persevered.
Ending her addiction was a major accomplishment for Kathy, but she did not fully regain control of her life until she began attending the depression and meditation groups and enhancing her coping skills. She found that meditation helped her cope with her anxiety, depression and chronic pain. With her practice of meditation, and her doctor’s knowledge and support, she was able to come off most of the medications she had previously needed to take for her mental illnesses.
As her self-esteem began to climb, Kathy became more involved with her community. She began teaching the meditation group, volunteering at the food bank and helping with the anti-poverty coalition. By 2006, Kathy was a program assistant to the social worker at the centre.
In 2007, Kathy presented at the annual conference of the Association of Ontario Health Centres for community health centres. She also presented at Opening Doors—an annual AIDS/HIV conference for Eastern Ontario—in 2008.
Kathy has just been accepted into Algonquin College where she plans to become qualified in social work. She is proud to have been chosen out of hundreds of applicants for one of only 17 spots, an accomplishment she never thought was possible.
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